Finding balance in an unbalanced world.
Definition of Balance:
An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
I’ts so important to start out with the truth. Knowing what the definition of the word balance means helps to give us a better understanding of the word. Look at it again. An even distribution of weight enabling someone to remain upright and steady.
I don’t know about you, but I want to remain upright and steady.
Have you tried to balance a basket of laundry in one arm and a baby on your hip? When my kids were small I quickly became a balancing professional. During a short distance down the hallway its usually not a problem. However carrying both throughout a marathon would be extremely difficult. Yet we do it day by day without even realizing it. Maybe not with babies and laundry but we do it with other things that fill up our schedules. Most times this leads to burnout! As women oftentimes we feel completely out of wack, overwhelmed and running on fumes. Honestly if we lightened the load a bit we may start to feel more balanced. But we tend to add more and more items to the list thinking that we can continue carrying unevenly distributed weight for long periods of time. That my friend is a huge lie.
Priorities & Letting Go
First it’s important to find out what exactly you should be carrying and what you shouldn’t. But how can you know for sure what to prioritize? What should you keep and what should you let go of? After many hard lessons I have learned that somethings should be put up on the shelf and left there for good. Those things should be admired from a passing glance while others are to be placed on the shelf for a season dusted off and revisited. Ok, but how do you tell the difference?
For starters have you asked God what you should be doing? Perhaps you just need to understand the contrast between what He has asked you to focus on and what you think you should focus on. There is a huge difference between the two. (Remember that prayer is a two way street)
Most of us have never even stopped to ask God questions about what we should be doing. More often than not we are just adding things to our already overloaded schedule because they seem like good things. From the outside they look like great tings to carry. Over time they get really really heavy. Left unchecked they begin to create a false sense of balance. Before you know it you begin wobbling like a penguin down the hallway of life trying to hold it all together.
Many of us have easily bought into the lie that its completely normal to continue carrying a tremendous amount of weight FOR LIFE. From the outside it looks like we have it all pulled together. In reality we just shove more things to one side and pick up even more things causing us to be unbalanced. The weight in reality is actually unequal. That many times causes us to feel like everything is just one big endless mess!
So many things!
Just between you and me the truth is I use to feel like wobbling penguin carrying a unbalanced load quite often. As women we have so many things to tend to! For starters our relationship with God (which should come first by the way), then we have our homes, our self care, our families, our businesses and the endless list of to do’s that cycle back around constantly like a never ending pile of dirty laundry. I use to be on what felt like a roller-coaster meets zombie mom type of ride and I never felt like I could get off no matter how much I screamed, “LET ME OFF THIS RIDE!”
Have you ever felt that way? If so, you are not alone. I have been here more times than I would like to admit. I found out there was a way to exit the ride but not until I understood that getting off required a decision. A decision that required me to release control over to God.
Exiting the ride was difficult because when the operator of the ride stopped the ride and said, “you can get off now.” I would refuse by holding on so tightly to the cycle of control.
Ahhhemmm… recovering control freak here.
I began to question if being balanced was even obtainable or if it was just some word that all the “perfect” moms threw around for fun while all of us less perfect moms try to obtain this imaginary ideal of balance. In the back of my head I thought the perfect moms must have some sort of magical process that helped them get everything checked off their list. Enabling them to sit in clean homes and drink lattes while hosting the Pinterest perfect mommy get together. They made it look so easy but after pulling back the curtain I realized that we all have things that we need to work on and no one is “perfectly balanced” all the time.
The truth is there is no perfect mom or a perfect balance. What I have come to realize is that balance is obtainable but it is unique to each season, situation, to each individual kingdom assignment.
Krissy Scoon sweetsavvymamma.com
Before I had a close relationship with the Lord I was running around like a chicken with my head cutoff. I was doing things in my own strength and to be completely honest I was dipping my foot in too many places! I was all over in someone else closet trying to make a shoe fit that was 3 sizes too small.
Maybe you find yourself in that same place right now! You thought everything would be worked out by now but the load is just getting heavier and your beginning to have a hard time carrying all the things! Your balance is feeling off and truthfully you feel like a complete wreck. Somehow you stumbled upon this post and your looking around at your life and wondering how balance can even be possible.
Goodnews: If this is you right now there is hope!
Bad news: You will have to do hard things. See #1-5 below (the hard things are so worth the outcome though!)
Steps to help you balance
Here are some steps you can use to help even out the load and figure out what to keep and what to put down. Get yourself a journal and write out your process as you go through these steps.
#1. Pray and don’t just do all the talking. God wants to talk to you and give you insight and answers. He can’t do that if you don’t give him the chance to answer you because you are firing off a laundry list of what you need him to do for you during prayer time. Give Him space and room to speak to you.
#2. Begin to ask God who you are in Christ Jesus. What your purpose is here on earth at this very time. Ask Him what assignments He wants you to carry out. Again, listen and give him space to answer you. Sometimes it won’t be right away when the answer comes and that is ok. (He loves to download answers to me when i’m driving or when i’m cooking… lol )
#3. Keep a journal- Write down the things God speaks to you, through his word, a circumstance, a friend, a sermon, a dream or however God speaks to you. Jot down your daily highlights or your epic fails. Reflect over what you have written over the course of a week, the month and the year. Take special notice of patterns. Ask God to help you understand why these patterns are there. Some things are good patterns and some need to be broken. Ask God for wisdom he will Give it to you if you just ask.
#4. Be honest with yourself- Do you really have to make 100 treat bags for that activity? Do you really need to be at every volunteer meeting, print and staple all the things for that event? Or are you just really not wanting to let others down even though doing those things are not helping you move closer to what you should be doing. Hummmmm… Yup this is a hard one. The best thing to do in this situation is to be honest. Be honest with yourself. Dropping heavy weight that is causing you to be severely unbalanced is not easy at first. Have you taken time to notice what you are saying yes to? Begin to ask yourself if these things do or don’t line up with what God answered to you in question number 2. Go back and make a list of things that don’t line up with what you need to be doing. It is okay to back out of obligations that no longer serve you. Yes, its ok to just stop doing them. Prioritize based on what answers you get back from God. Example: God has called me to write, homeschool my children and encourage women. Doing things that don’t fall under these main priorities will eventually over time get me all off track and well you get the point. What has the Lord called you to do?
#5. Say the word “No” more often. It’s sounds simple but Its not always easy. However this is vital! Saying No frees you to have room to say yes to the most important things. Oh this is a HUGE one! At first I had such a hard time putting this one into practice. But once I did it was so freeing! My life has so much peace now because I’m doing the things that God has created me to do and it feels so wonderful. Here is a little secret, the word No has become one of my favorite words now. If you need a place to start you can just say, “That doesn’t work for our schedule.” Or “I can’t fit that in this week, month or year.” Once you get the hang of this it becomes so easy!
I hope this post has helped you to reevaluate what you are carrying and how you can make some healthy balance adjustments. Let me know how everything is going. What things have you decided to put on the shelf in this season? What things have you dusted off and said yes to?
I would love to hear your comments. Email them to iamkrisscoon@gmail.com and I will read and respond to them.
Blessings,
Krissy